Wartime Prayer

Dear Lord,

Lest I continue
My complacent way,
Help me to remember that somewhere,
Somehow out there
A man died for me today.
As long as there be war,
I then must
Ask and answer
Am I worth dying for?
-Eleanor Roosevelt “Wartime Prayer”

I want to etch these words on my bones. I truly believe that although Eleanor Roosevelt, while engulfed in the trauma and tragedy of all that was in WWII, was inspired to write these words in that setting, they came out of an insight on being mindful of what a life worth living really takes. I came up with three themes, that may not have been what Mrs. Roosevelt originally intended, but I think she'd approve. They are reminders for me of how I might live my day to day.

Being mindful. I don't think this is the opposite of mind-wander; rather that to be mindful is to observe first, judge later (if at all). To refrain from chastising oneself. It's a sort of meditation applied to daily living.

Being present. Owning the moment; being truthful, ready, just, there. Perceiving the present as it is happening; noticing the small changes that happen every day, in my daughter's expressions, in the changing foliage, in neighbors' faces as they greet me. In the world around me and in me. How I feel when I wake up one morning, the thoughts that come to me on a run, in the shower, or while rocking G to sleep. The good of course, but also the bad, the tough, the stressful. Attempting to savor those moments, even just for a moment, as they are happening.

Finding courage. Oh courage is too often associated with brawn and might, when most courageous acts are invisible acts born out of everyday life by regular people. The courage to approach a stranger to try to make a connection. The courage to stand before a crowd and speak, with something on the line. The courage that children muster up, so many times, for every new challenge that a growing life is faced with. The courage for a parent to leave her child in a new setting. The courage to attempt a social gathering, in a room full of strangers. The courage of a teacher, upon being asked a question, to respond "I don't know the answer." There are other milestones of courage that we tend to mark into our memories, but these everyday ones, the ones we ourselves often fail to store in permanent memories, are the building blocks of character that strengthen us for the times we don't feel prepared for or when we are overwhelmed with the stakes.

Without trying to minimize our current conflicts, I feel that we are always at war; as actual war and its consequences rage on around us, even those of us who are far away in space and time sense and feel it closely. That people come to an end for something, some cause beyond their control is insidious, maddening, tragic to an extreme I have no words for. But that we live our lives in meaningful way; that we try, and fail, but try again to do our part; to help others do theirs... I find solace, and moreover, hope, in that.