the Honor Project

Service. sacrifice. commitment. pride.

Honor.

These are the words that have always come to mind when I've thought about individuals who sign up, step in, pledge to help keep safe, fight for, and take care of us, by joining the Services. I say the Services, not just the Armed Services, because what I am really referring to here is service, armed or not, that goes beyond individual gain. That is really for something much larger than any one person, that stands for something. I believe in service, I think it benefits the server as much as those s/he serves, but I also know that it comes with costs. Physical and emotional costs. And for those who, in having to serve, have to be away from their loved ones for an extended period of time, know that the physical and emotional are not separate. The ache of longing is one felt in the bones, in the chest, right above where the heart beats.

But individuals still serve, still leave their loved ones, to help make a difference in people's lives. To help rebuild storm-ravaged areas. To help set up classrooms and businesses in resource-deprived areas. To help reduce the suffering and pain of injured soldiers.

Making that choice, to serve, takes something, but it is something that I think we all innately have. I often refer to it as integrity, or character, but I think that stems from a place of being able to honor oneself and then the world around. To be true to the light that is within us all. To be able to make the harder choice, rather than succumb to the easier one. I call that honor.

But honor isn't only found in these big acts, big missions. It's most often the smallest of things. The unspoken, the unnecessary act of kindness, the uncredited. The anonymous donation, the door held open, the genuine smile, the hand outstretched. The risk taken, the hard task embarked upon, the shared moment. All that we feel that is genuine, all that feeds our soul. We aren't always conscious of it, but we do visit those places where we know we have done something good, maybe difficult, but right.

So, what this is about...

About 3 weeks ago, my husband, best friend, and partner in this world had to leave my daughter and I, to go far away, around the world, for about 8 months, to help take care of the wounded and sick. I could have said that got sent on a 8 month deployment to Afghanistan, and that would be true, but the way I said it first feels lighter. We are hurting, being apart from each other. But we are also surviving, and more than that, we are also uplifted, and we are also inspired, and we are thriving (okay, most of the time... sometimes we are only hurting, or we are only frustrated, or we are only exhausted!).

I've been blogging regularly for about a year and a half about my life as a mom who also has a job outside the home, but I wanted to start a new blog, during M's deployment, about what I think honor means. And to honor my husband, M, in his service. I hope to use this space to reflect about what and how we honor in our little everyday lives. I am hoping that this becomes a record for our family and provides solace in this time of being apart. I am hoping that our daughter can look back on this time, with the help of this project, and find what was good and what was right about it. I think the joy and the sadness that might accompany this project come from a place of honor, from a place of being true, and if tears of each come, so be it. Thank you for reading, and for sharing this space with us.

We honor you.